| this year's love had better last |
[23 Apr 2005|01:02pm] |
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mood |
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palagi na lang ganito. we see each other one day, talk the whole night and stay like that for a few days, tas wala na naman. then after a week or so, the cycle repeats. im getting tired of this. pero no matter how much i try to make myself get over you, i couldnt. maybe i wouldnt, too.
anyway, i love my friends. haha. segue.
nawawalan na ako ng gana magupdate. so i guess you'll be seldomly seeing new posts here from now on..
~this years love had better last
heaven knows it's high time
and ive been waiting on my own too long
but when you hold me like you do
it feels so right
i start to forget
how my heart gets torn
when that hurt gets thrown
feeling like you can't go on
turning circles when time again
it cuts like a knife
if you love me got to know for sure
cos it takes something more this time
than sweet sweet lies
before i open up my arms and fall
losing all control
every dream inside my soul
and when you kiss me
on that midnight street
sweep me off my feet
singing ain't this life so sweet
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[14 Apr 2005|09:48am] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz - Lovers & Friends |
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ive decided to update my beloved lj since i havent posted for more than a week. so i logged on and opened the editor.
and stared at the monitor.
and stared some more.
ARGH.
ive so many things that i want to say! i don't know why i can't.
anyway, three things:
- i got 275 in chem. hee.
- tita ling arrived last night. :)
- i badly, and i mean SO BADLY miss these persons: noelle, thei, ging, stoi, hanni, keigh, nix, ana, rica, chona, joe, giselle, bill! roy... but hey, if i didn't put your name here, it doesn't mean i don't miss ya. :) hmm. pero yun iba jan, wag maging feeling.. yuck.
ta-ta. im going to have my hair cut short. para naman mabawasan mga kabigatan ko sa buhay! hehe. :*
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| friendship vs love |
[05 Apr 2005|06:36pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Bruce Springsteen - Secret Garden |
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quoting joe: "the best way to ruin friendship is love."
i guess not. no. im not guessing. IT'S NOT. it's your own decision if you're going to let love get in the way. it's up to you if you're going to waste the friendship. simple as that. isn't it?
anyway...
still happy. although there are these people who seem like the sole purpose of their existence is to ruin other people's happiness. nakakaawa. sad, noh? why can't some people just be happy for others?
tsk tsk tsk. moving on...
glad about last night. no, more than glad. yes, you'll see me soon again. maybe sooner, even. hehe. :)
hmmn... i feel like letting the whole world know i'm happy. :P
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| happinezzzz |
[03 Apr 2005|12:52am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Jennifer Love Hewitt - You Make Me Smile |
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:)
you've been making my past few days happy. really happy. thanks for calling again. i missed these long talks on the fone. :P anyway, im making you your cd right now...ü sweet sleep. hope you'll feel better.
the fact that i miss you is very frustrating.. disappointing. and a little depressing. sometimes stressful even. but knowing that you miss me too, makes all these go away. beautiful. just beautiful.
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[01 Apr 2005|04:41pm] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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music |
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Jennifer Paige - Stranded |
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had a sound sleep last night. thanks for calling. :)
~i wanna be with you if you wanna be with me.. crashing like a tidal wave, i don't wanna be stranded; so baby come back to me..
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| melancholy grows |
[31 Mar 2005|07:07am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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Whitney Houston - I Have Nothing |
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imagine being finally able to get a shut eye just before the clock struck 5 this morning. and then someone wakes you up at 530. and then i couldnt get my sleep anymore. sigh.
i stayed lying in bed, thinking about things... again. i texted a few people good morning's... browsed through my inboxes... reminisced... again. still couldnt erase our conversations. all 3 inboxes full. how pathetic! i hate myself. i hate how im acting. i hate how i over-analyze things. i hate how i rationalize everything. i hate how i miss him; i miss him so much, so much more than anyone could miss him! bah.
~and me, i still believe in paradise. but now at least i know it's not some place you can look for. because it's not where you go. it's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something. and if you find that moment, it lasts forever.
tear, tear.
please make them stop falling.
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| a letter for you |
[25 Mar 2005|10:45pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
- Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Invitation
this is for ( you ).
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[17 Mar 2005|05:45pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Nina - Love Moves in Mysterious Ways |
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think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. remember me once in a while - please promise me you'll try. when you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free - if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me. we never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea - but if you can still remember stop and think of me... think of all the things we've shared and seen - don't think about the things which might have been... think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned. imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind. recall those days look back on all those times, think of the things we'll never do - there will never be a day, when I won't think of you. -anonymous
sayang.
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[05 Mar 2005|06:28pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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here comes the night
once again ill be feeling lonely
if only things could work out like you plan
where can love be
tell me why it's so hard to find somebody
who will stand by me and take the time to understand
and show me love again
i want the real thing or nothing at all
i need someone that i can be sure will catch me if i should fall
someone who'll be there when i call
then ill know that it's the real thing
i want the real thing to warm me each night
someone to love me over and over
making the future bright
someone who'll be there when i call
just give me the real thing
where is the moon?
wont it smile on just one more dreamer
let your beams come down and fill my empty room
here comes the night
but if there's still a chance that love can find me
ill be here crossing my fingers
i want to know for sure that i can feel secure
knowing ive found an everlasting love
and once i get that under control
then i wont let go
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[24 Feb 2005|09:18pm] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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PUNYETA.
ang hirap maging maganda.
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[20 Feb 2005|11:22pm] |
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yesterday was a hectic day. i, with jez, went to UP in the morning to get hers and joy's report cards. then went to check the upcat results, then went home. yesterday was their js prom, so we were pretty busy here in the house. tita rosie was here to celebrate her birthday last fifteenth. after lunch, we went to the salon for jez and joy's hair and make-up. ystilo was packed. we made appointments, but they argued we didn't confirm. how weird. so it took us more than 3 hours in the salon. our supposed merienda with the whole family was postponed. haha. naging 6oclock merienda na siya. :P we three didnt have time to eat anymore, we had to leave. brought them to the bahay ng alumni, while i, went to the fair.
fair was boring. i got really sleepy and i had a slight headache. ca and chona came. stayed at a friend's booth. thei, stoi, ging and carolle came soon. played cards. fun began. hahaha. got very wasted. no more details. hehe. thanks to the gang, especially ian, logan, efren, jeric and the guy who lent us cards. hehe.
highlight of the day: (or should i say night?) he made my day again. :) happy happy.
***
i woke up late today, just in time for lunch. lunch with the family was great, very western-ish. lol. barbecued spare ribs and garden fresh salad complete with cherry tomatoes. :P we had fish also, i duno what that is. later we had fruit crepes. :)
again, (copy paste last line). haha. tamad.
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[18 Feb 2005|07:27pm] |
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mood |
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weather is freaking HOT. hate the freaking heat.
si marvin cruz pasaway nanaman! libre daw kami iced tea sa choco kiss, e di go! un pala.. kami magbabayad ng pinagkakakain niya. sabi ng nanay ko, grabe na ito. haha. we shouldve known.
omg the heat.. exaj.
no crushes for yesterday and today. not in the mood to look for one..
havent been to The Place since tuesday... so sad. i miss our friends there. bwahaha. tomorrow hopefully. :P
not much to write. missing someone.
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[16 Feb 2005|05:49pm] |
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mood |
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our escapades have become a habit. :P we dont care. it's fun.
went to the place and spent little time there before going to the fair. friends and connections made it easier for us to enter the grounds. hehehe. met up with louie a little later, he joined us. aicel kept teasing me and louie.. i dont actually think there's something to tease about.. nothing too unusual, i was actually getting sleepy. midnight came, still nothing from sugarfree.. im getting panicky because i had to go home.. a bit of a ruckus while rivermaya was playing you'll be safe here, but no, we were not. good thing louie held me tight.. went away from the crowd and got separated from the others. had a hard time contacting people, i still had to bring stoi to her house. and finally when we met up, she remembered that her things were in thei's car, so she had to go back to the crowd to find thei for the car keys, louie and i went ahead to the parking lot. while waiting for stoi, jason approached me, told me juan's alarm went on for hours and hours and he cant contact me coz he didnt know my new numbers. sped home, but dropped louie first in edsa, then brought stoi to her house. id say it was an okay night. :)
oh i forgot, i got another rose from ray and jances. :) wee. i had too many crushes for tuesday, mostly band members.
today was quite an okay day also. softball was tiring, weather was too hot. don is my crush for the day, haha. he actually, hmm how do i say this, held the glove for me to put my hand in, then adjusted my forefinger and then the straps. hehe. parang hindi ako marunong e no. he was super kulit today also, he kept teasing me!
for the next two weeks, im playing for the softball league together with my other friends. yay. :P
finding neverland is a great watch. made me teary-eyed a few times, made me laugh too.
tatah guysh. :*
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| o happy day. |
[14 Feb 2005|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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yet another escapade for lunch. hehehe... new found friend = joe. heller! :P
louie made my day. he gave me a long stemmed rose. really really sweet of him to do that. :P thanks thanks! :P
my friendster hits today is shoot up a gazillion. how weird. haha. (yes, of course, im curious on who has been viewing.)
anyway, crush for the day is osep. thei and i just started to look for a crush for the day. wala lang. pang-aliw. :P will post them here.
m out guys. xoxo
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[12 Feb 2005|10:04pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Michael Buble - Sway |
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i just got home.
today was our second long exam for chemistry, and i did not do good. i hate it. and i hate it even more because i skipped the play i was supposed to watch because of that friggin exam.
fun time after the exam. lex, louie, jo and i ate my snacks at the parking lot while sitting on the gutter. then left for ilang to have isaw! yum yum. i wanted some cello's too, but they didn't have the oreo topped doughnuts then. maybe next time. planned to watch a movie, louie said he's going to treat me. :) yay. asked ma if she was gona let me, but i sent the message to hanni instead. lol. we were planning to see finding neverland, but it wasn't on. chose phanthom of the opera, but it already started when we arrived at the mall. saw shall we dance instead. yes, i wanted to watch it again. more funny moments inside the theater. planning to take up dance lessons, all four of us. hehe. parted ways after walking lexi to her sundo and accompanying me to the car.
thanx again louie! sabi mo, sa uulitin! hehehe.
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| courtesy of cza / nakiki-valentines |
[11 Feb 2005|08:32pm] |
We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.
from the movie "The Mirror Has Two Faces"
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[10 Feb 2005|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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happy ako ulit today. wala lang. kahit masakit katawan ko...
nakita ko crush ko! hindi talaga siya gwapo. hahaha. ang sama e no. hindi naman siya panget e. mabait pa. yiheeee...
si marvin cruz pasaway forever! asdfjkl;
escapade slash mini bonding session with thei, ca, lot and bill kanina.. ang saya saya!
out of town here we come! ngeee. ang labo. oi, next week ulit ha!
antok na ko. good night. :)
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[09 Feb 2005|06:53pm] |
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mood |
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sore |
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im happy. (i love ya!) :)
i have a new crush!
too tired (; and lazy to make kwento. maybe tomorrow.
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| wala to, kung ako sa inyo, wag nyo na basahin |
[06 Feb 2005|10:42pm] |
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nakakatangang tignan yung cursor. hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula, kaya napatitig ako nang matagal. wala lang, feeling nyo naman icoconnect ko 'to sa sasabihin ko? hindi no. hehe. wala lang. alas onse na nang gabi, kanina pa ko naghihintay. hindi naman ako makatulog. hanggang kelan kaya ako maghihintay, no? ang lala! hindi naman ako makakilos. sinumpa talaga ang babae. haha. hindi ako galit, hindi ko naman kayang magalit sayo e. siguro sa sarili ko, ang weird ko kasi. pero alam mo sana, i-mean mo naman ung sinasabi mo.. if you do miss me, do something about it. saka yun sabi mo sakin dati.. ano ba yun? gaya ng sinabi ko, hindi naman ako makakapagsalita hanggang wala kang sinasabi.. pero alam ko, alam mo kung anong nararamdaman ko. ako, hindi ko sigurado kung ano nararamdaman mo, parang hesitant ka kasi magpakita ng feelings e.. hindi ako galit, wag ka rin sana magalit. alas onse y medya, hindi ko pa 'to matapos. hindi ako inaantok. marami pa kong gustong sabihin, pero ayaw ko nga. siguro, pag magkasama tayo sasabihin ko. ayun, naghihintay pa rin ako. di ka rin pala tatawag. tsk. ang manhid ko ba? mejo nafoform ko na yung thoughts na hindi maganda. pero ayaw ko maniwala. alas dose, wala akong magawang productive. maya-maya tutulog na rin ako. magandang gabi, sana pag nabasa mo to, may marealize ka naman kahit papano. sana pag gising ko, may maliwanagan din ako. hahaha ang corny. ikaw kasi e.
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